Updated: Jan 23, 2019
Have you noticed that you always feel that way after dealing with this particular person? Chances are,
you have been interacting with an energy vampire.
An energy vampire is exactly what it sounds like: someone who literally sucks the ENERGY out of you.
This is why conversations with them leave you feeling emotionally, and sometimes physically exhausted.
Energy vampires are people who TAKE from you without providing something in return to"restock"
your emotional bank. They can be anyone from your family members, co-workers, friends, or even your mate, which is why sometimes it's hard to pin-point the vampires in your life. Most people are more lenient with those who are closer to them and tend to excuse their behavior, but it's important to recognize who drains you of your energy so that you can protect yourself from it's affects on the quality of your life.
There are many different kinds of energy vampires, but I've detailed five of them below to give you
an idea of their common traits to see if you recognize any of these people in your life:
The Needy Vampire:
This person is always in some sort of crisis or bind and YOU are the only one who can help them, or at least that's the impression they give you. Whether they are short on cash, or their car broke down again and they need a ride, or they are having a "life-altering" issue that they need to talk to you about until all hours of the night, this person looks at you as their personal savior. To them, it is your job to "fix their life" like Iyanla Vanzant no matter what the problem is, no matter how big or detailed, and no matter what you are doing when they call you.
The Negative Vampire:
This is the person who can find something wrong with a bright sunny day. The sun will shine TOO bright for them and the sky is definitely TOO blue. They will nag, whine, and complain about everything they believe is going wrong not only in THEIR life, but in the lives of others around them. They make it their business to seek out what is bad in the world and have chosen YOU as the person to share all of their negative information with. This person watches the news every day to extract the saddest and most painful stories to tell you, almost as if they find joy in talking about death and destruction. They also have the skill for finding the negative in everyday life and feel compelled to point this out to you every step of the way, whether you asked them for this information or not.
The Egotistical Vampire:
Although all people who fall in the energy vampire category are somewhat egotistical, this particular person takes it to a whole other level. Think of the person that intrudes on your personal space, doesn't ask how you are doing and if you are okay before launching into a long, drawn out story about their life, their latest catastrophe, or even their latest triumph. This person's conversation can either be about something wonderful or something terrible, but their only requirement is that it revolves around THEM. They expect you to remember whatever they have told you in the past about THEIR life and to be able to recall it instantly, without regard that events in your own life might prevent you from remembering every second of theirs. They are only interested in talking to you if they are the main topic of discussion and if by chance the conversation flows your way, they will immediately disengage and end the interaction.
The Drama-Queen Vampire:
Never in life have you ever seen anyone with SO much going on in their life all at once more than this person. Whether it's problems with an ex, or a new relationship, or their children, or their workplace, or their hairstylist, or even their pizza delivery person, this person is always knee-deep in some kind of dilemma that (guess who) YOU are the only person they want to talk to about it. These people will save up the drama over a weekend and greet you first thing on a Monday morning with all their issues that they just have to share with you. They will also expect you to give them your undivided attention while they relive all of their perceived troubles.
The Judgmental Vampire:
Because vampires often have issues with self-esteem, this person will find fault in everyone around them, which actually is what they see about THEMSELVES but they project it onto others. They will take issue with how someone talks, dresses, sings, who they are dating, what car they drive, how often they blink...pretty much anything their intended victim for the day is doing. They will tell you how wrong they think it is, how they believe this person should be behaving, and how much worse this person's life is going to be because they aren't doing what the vampire believes they should do. They will find something wrong with any choice or decision someone makes in their own lives and then run down a list of why they will surely fail at everything they attempt to do. They paint a dreary outlook for any goal or pursuit someone else has, but do not understand it's because they wish they had the drive or determination to purse something themselves.
If you recognize any of these people in your life, it's important to take steps to protect your energy, and your peace of mind. These vampires have depleted their own energy sources with all of the constant negativity they allow to fill their mind and thoughts on a daily basis, and now they have chosen YOU as their new energy source.
How to Protect Your Energy from a Vampire?
Evaluate the people in your life who make you feel drained after interacting with them. If there is no extenuating circumstance that would allow this type of feeling (ie., death in the family, divorce, or other traumatic life event) and you notice it happens with almost every interaction, identify these people so that you are conscious of them and how their behavior affects your life.
Limit your contact with them. This can be difficult if the person is a spouse, child or immediate family member, so in cases like these, it's important to keep your OWN energy source very high to counteract theirs when they attempt to drain you. You keep your own energy high by engaging in activities that bring you joy, focusing on positive and uplifting thoughts, and affirming your positive qualities and traits on a daily basis. Limiting contact with others is a bit easier and can be done by not accepting every invitation from this person, keeping phone calls/texts to a bare minimum, and choosing not to engage them when they come to you with more energy draining conversations.
Don't feed into their drama, struggles, or perceived difficulties. Energy vampires crave your interest in their stories and will suck even more energy out of you when you encourage their testimonials. But when you show a lack of interest in what they are saying, this frustrates them because they literally need your undivided attention to drain your energy for their own survival. Being dismissive without feeling guilty will serve to save you from the effects of the vampire and cause them to move along to find another victim
Remove them from your life. If the vampire isn't a family member or spouse, consider removing this person from your life all together. If your interaction with the person consistently leaves you drained, stressed-out and unhappy, then you have to ask yourself, "what is my motive for keeping this type of person in my life?" Not all people you encounter should be given complete access to you simply because you know them. You always have the power to choose who you allow into your circle. To protect yourself, choosing only those who bring added value, love, mutual respect, and POSITIVE energy into your life will go a long way to ensuring that your journey is a happy one.